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A little dog-show humor:
Pet dogs versus show dogs...
Pet dogs shed .................. Show dogs blow coat.
Pet dogs are in heat ......... Show dogs come into season.
Pet dogs trot .................... Show dogs gait or move.
Pet dogs stand ................ Show dogs stack.
Pet dogs get a bath ......... Show dogs are groomed.
Pet dogs beg for treats .... Show dogs bait.
Pet dogs poop ................ Show dogs toilet or eliminate.
Pet dogs bark at other dogs ..... Show dogs spar.
Dog Show Definitions. ..
1. Great stud dog ............... Mounts anything that can fog a mirror.
2. Excels in movement .......If he gets loose, run like hell.
3. Personality Plus ............ Wakes up if you put liver up his nose.
4. Good bite ..................... Missed the judge, got the steward.
5. Large boned ................. Looks like a Clydesdale.
6. Good obedience prospect ..Smart enough to come in from the rain, but ugly.
7. Quiet and good natured ..... In his kennel.
8. Excels in type and style ..... However, moves like a spider on speed".
9. Won in stiff competition ..... Beat four puppies and a 9 year old novice dog.
10. Multiple group winner ..... At two puppy matches.
11. Pointed ..................... His head is shaped like a carrot.
12. Noted Judge ............. He put up our dog.
13. Respected Judge ......He put up our dog twice.
14. Esteemed Judge ...... He puts up anything that crawls.
15. Specialty Judge ....... Puts up anything that looks like his own breeding.
16. Won in heavy competition ...The other dogs were revoltingly overweight.
17. Shown sparingly ...........Only when we had it in the bag.
| George Alston Handling Clinic will be held on March 13 & 14, 2010 at the SMKC Training Center - Information available soon or contact Jeannine Dennis at Asherwood@mchsi.com |